Adequacy and Authenticity

I had a great conversation with a friend today. It followed a great sermon at my church. Matt, who delivered the sermon today, discussed how we behave in certain ways to try and get others to authenticate our faith. We use certain language or wear certain clothing or do certain things, etc, to try to fit in with others who do/say/wear those things that they will say we are Christians.

Matt used the Pharisees as his example (in Matthew 23:1-12). The Pharisees were always interpreting their version of following God and then putting it on other people - and if you behaved in those ways, then you were OK. If you didn't behave in those ways then you were "out" (as Heidi Klum would say). We do the same thing in our Chrsitian life - we find these pastors or authors that seem to have it all figured out and try to follow all they say so that we can say "I did it! Everyone will know I'm a Christian now."

Matt didn't use this verse, but I thought of it during his talk. Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching you are really my disciples, then you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free." But he also said, "If you love one another, then all people will know that you are my disciples." So somewhere in here we've gotten off track and its no longer about loving God and
people but more about "being" or "doing" something that qualifies us.

So then I was talking to my friend today on the phone. We were talking about how easy it is, when we feel inadequate to follow God, to fall back into our old life and patterns. And then we prove to ourselves that we are indeed inadequate. And the case is closed.

Except that its a lie.

Well, its not really a lie - we are inadequate. But God is not. "God is able to do more than we ask or imagine," and frankly, I can imagine a lot of things so God is pretty amazing to do more than that.

Her question, "Doesn't it ever get easier {to follow God}?"
My answer, "well, actually... no."

The analogy we used in our conversation was climing a 14,000 foot peak. (Now, this metaphor may fall apart if you are a mountain climber, so bear with me and don't email me saying its not true - just listen for the idea, OK?!) Let's say that you were going to climb this 14k peak and you were going to climb 1,000 feet a day. Each day your muscles would get increasingly stronger, but the air would get increasingly thinner. So even though you are stronger, it is still hard each day. But following Jesus is like climbing a 14,000,000 foot peak.

A wise person once said that the closer we get to Jesus the further away we realize we are. The closer we get to him, the more we realize his holiness, his power, his love and his grace. And the more we realize these things, the more we see ourselves in stark contrast. The person who just met Jesus feels pretty low, but I would venture to guess that as they continue to know Jesus in a real way they may make changes in their life in those initial areas, but slowly the "little" areas (which I really think are the big areas) come into view - we move from our past of (we'll use this example) murder to our current behavior of slander, or whatever. And we realize that slander is like murder to God. He doesn't differentiate like us humans do between things that are "really" bad and things that are just a little bad. Jesus actually said, "if you look at a woman lustfully, you are committing adultery" - yikes.

So I know that I need help in these areas. I need to believe that God can do things through me, even though I fall - a lot. I need to remember that its not really about ME, but about God. And I need to remember that I am adequate because God has called me. Not that God called me because I was adequate.

And I need to remember that God authenticates my faith. I may live my Christianity different than a lot of people, in ways that people think are "good" or "bad" - but its not really about "good" and "bad" Christianity. There are a lot of different beliefs about what those descriptors mean. To some people a "bad" Christian is one who never reads their bible, or drinks occasionally, to others the "bad" Christian is one who is legalistic about those things.

I don't want to be a Christian in the eyes of my friends or family, but lose sight of the type of Christian God has called me to be.

I just want to follow Jesus and do as he tells me. I don't always know what that means, but I'm hoping to keep learning as I climb the peak with him.

here are books that speak to what I'm thinking about today:

Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
We Would See Jesus by Roy Hession

Love to you today! Tiffani

faithful friends!

To my faithful friends. Please take one last opportunity to learn about the Kenya trip from this site: http://kenyahelpusgo.blogspot.com. From now on I'm back to updating here. I should be able to throw out an update later this week about my summer plans. :)

In the meantime.... check out this site for pics from the trip: http://picasaweb.google.com/tiffanibelle/KenyaMemoriesI

If you get time, check out these links to places/people we visited and worked with while in Kenya:
http://www.amaniafrica.org/ (women's ministry - amazing)
http://www.newlifehometrust.org/ (orphanages)
http://thecityharvest.org/ (the church we worked with)
http://www.journeytokenya.com/ (homepage for the Dellamaters)
http://lodges.safari.co.za/safari-lodge-sarova-mara-tented-camp.html (the site for the hotel we stay at, on safari)

Love! Tiffani

Just to make my life easier, I'm going to plan to post on the Kenya website while I'm gone and if I get extra time I'll post a copy here. But if you want to see updates or info:

http://kenyahelpusgo.blogspot.com.

Keep it real. Go in peace.

Love, Tiff

UPdates...

Hi Friends!

A couple housekeeping items... here is my travel itinerary for Kenya:
Travel Itinerary (for you to know and pray):

Sun 5/13 - travel to Dallas, fly to Chicago, fly to London
Mon 5/14 - layover (tourist time in London), fly to Nairobi
Tues 5/15 - travel to Masai Mara Safari Park and stay there
Wed 5/16 - safari at Masai Mara
Thurs 5/17 - safari at Masai Mara and travel back to Nairobi
Fri 5/18 - work at Railia Kids Club in Kibera Slum (crafts, sports, tutoring)
Sat 5/19 - work at Railia AM, painting/landscaping at "Karen Project" in PM
Sun 5/20 - Church at City Harvest Ministries, sabbath rest/team time/shopping
Mon 5/21 - work with City Harvest Ministries - visit AIDS testing clinic, meet HIV+ microcommunities
Tues 5/22 - work with City Harvest again - more HIV+ communities, help renovate hairdressing school
Wed 5/23 - tour of Kibera, learn more about life of men and women in the slums
Thurs 5/24 - TBD - either Railia or work with CHM in Kibera, plus team time in afternoon
Fri 5/25 - work at Mitumba Kids Club in Mitumba Slum (a poorer part of Kibera
slum)
Sat 5/26 - return to Railia Kids Club in AM, work at Karen Project in PM
Sun 5/27 - church at City Harvest, sabbath/team time/shopping/pack -
fly to London
Mon 5/28 - fly to Chicago, fly to DFW - arrive DFW at 10:30pm, travel to Waco
Tues 5/29 - start summer classes (me and a few others)

OK, please pray as you feel the Lord prompt you!! He knows even better than I know how much I need it.

Well, here's the rest of the news! The semester is complete and tonight a few of the members of my cohort of students attended the "hooding ceremony" of the graduating students. It was pretty neat - and the Vice President of Student Life (Dub Oliver) says that we are officially "Second Year" students now. Wow. that is pretty cool. My semester ended well. After really struggling with getting my 25-page case study completed, I was really proud of the document I turned in and received an A for my work.

Most of my students are gone now for the summer - but there are still a few ADPi women and Chaplains who I will have the chance to talk with this summer. I'm especially excited to spend time this summer with Celina - who I've met weekly-ish this year. She is a neat, gifted women with a passion for Jesus!!

Many of my former students at Greenville are graduating this year. Annie, Kristina, TJ, Jared, among others. Its pretty crazy to think of these students walking across the stage - and bittersweet to think I won't be there. And Travis and Ashley are getting married - and again, sad that I won't get to see it - though I'm excited to hear about it and see the pics afterward!

I wish I had more to offer in this update, but my life has been full of Kenya and finishing school and so that is all I can think about.

I'm 60% done. And I'm starting to look at the places that I might end up next year. California is the likely state, with a bunch of schools in consideration. I'll keep you posted.

OH - and neat news: I receieved a scholarship from the Alpha Delta Pi Foundation for next year's school - The "Stafford National Officer" scholarship. I was also awarded one of two "Outstanding Graduate Student" Awards from the Division of Student Life, for 2006-2007. What an honor! There are some amazing students working in our division, so that award meant a lot to me.

Blessings to you - and if I can, I'll post some pics while I'm gone.

Love, Tiff

Life, Frailty and the Importance of Community

There is so much to talk about today, friends.

I have good news: I am the proud recipient of a scholarship from the Alpha Delta Pi Foundation - $1,000 toward my graduate studies next year; and I'm also the proud recipient of the "James Huckins Award for Outstanding Graduate Assistant" for 2007.

I have sad news: We had a student die in a car accident on Monday night, as she traveled to her grandmother's house to study for finals. Her name is Caitlin Creed.

As I sit here at my desk, I can look out the window and watch the happenings of Collins Hall. Collins Hall is a women's residence hall, housing almost 600 women - mostly first-year students. It was Caitlin's hall. Last night Caitlin's best friends packed up her room.

As I look out into the parking lot today, Caitlin's friends and a few of my friends on the Hall staff are loading up her possessions into a car to be taken to her family today.

And now I watch as one of the moms of her friends drives the truck away.... and I think about how frail life is, and how valuable.

This week has brought with it grieving weather. Ever since Tuesday morning it has been grey and raining off and on. It makes me think of Psalm 18 and how when David was being opposed he called out to God and God responded immediately, he was angry for David - on his behalf, and he stormed down from heaven. David says that the Lord rode bolts of lightning and his shouts were like thunder. And this week every time I hear the thunder and see the lightning I think of how God is grieving this loss with us. When the rain comes down in torrents, then back to drizzle, and then takes a break - I think of the cycle of crying that some of these students and adults are experiencing - weeping, worn out and unable to cry any longer, resting, then weeping again.

We are frail and vulnerable. But lives aren't supposed to end like this. And so we grieve, because we miss Cailin. We grieve, because we don't understand "why". We grieve, because we know that it could have been anyone.

This week I was priviledged to see community spring into action - it was Caitlin's friends that packed her room, the hall staff and residence life community that stepped in the night we heard the news, the university ministry staff who helped out wherever there might be need to talk or pray. Caitlin was a Tri-Delta sister, and it was amazing when I recieved an email from another sorority's chaplain letting me know that she was organizing a time of prayer for Caitlin's family, friends and sorority sisters - and it was more amazing to see the variety of people that attended the prayer time.

I am blessed to be a part of this community. And this tragedy reminds me of how important my friends and coworkers are to me. It reminds me of the value of life - and living my life in every moment for God's glory.

May we all experience the awesome power of God today - in deliverance, in comfort, in peace.

Love, Tiff