On Suffering...

I'm re-reading "Hinds Feet on High Places" right now, by Hannah Hurnard. I just finished reading "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens, which I enjoyed tremendously (it was very funny - ironic kind of humor and some straight up comedy, too). But at the end of Great Expectations I was surprised to find that it was like dust - no lasting "meaning." Most of the books of Dickens time had some sort of "wrap up" that made you think or contemplate new ways of behavior or belief. "The Brothers Karamazov" for instance (which I think was written about the same time, but in Russia...) really made me think about punishment and justice, and is it OK for someone to escape punishment if they are innocent? "Great Expectations".... good book, so far, not necessarily making me change my thinking.

So, on to "Hind's Feet." I've written about it before in the old blog (tiffs life in waco), but never here. Its an allegory, so its full of meaning. Here is the quote that has me thinking today. Its an excerpt from Chapter 6: Detour through the Desert. (first note that the heroine, Much Afraid, is journeying to the high places - the Kingdom of Love - and the two companions that the Great Shepherd gave her to help her get there are Sorrow and Suffering, who take her hands and help her to climb)

Then one day the path turned a corner, and to her amazement and
consternation she saw a great plain spread out beneath them. As far as the eye
could see there seemed to be nothing but desert, and endless expanse of sand
dunes, with not a tree in sight.... To the horror of Much-Afraid, her two guides
prepared to take the steep path downward.
She stopped dead and said to them, "We mustn't go down there. The Shepherd
has called me to the High Places. We must find some path which goes up, but
certainly not down there." But they made signs to her that she was to follow
them down the steep pathway to the desert below.
Much-Afraid looked to the left and right, but though it seemed incredible,
there was no way possible by which they could climb upward. [They were
surrounded by sheer walls of rock on all other sides.]
"I can't go down there", panted Much-Afraid, sick with shock and fear. "He
can never mean that - never! He called me up to the High Places, and this is an
absolute contradiction of all that he promised."
She then lifted up her voice and called desperately, "Shepherd, come to me.
Oh, I need you. Come and help me."
In a moment he was there, standing beside her.
[Much-Afraid appeals for a different way, she knows he cannot contradict
himself, so she asks him to fulfill his promise by sending her up higher.]
He looked at her and answered very gently, "That is the path, Much-Afraid,
and you are to go down there."
"Oh, no," she cried, "You can't mean it. You said if I would trust you, you
would bring me to the High Places, and that path leads right away from them. It
contradicts all that you promised."
"No," said the Shepherd, "it is not contradiction, only postponement for
the best to become possible"
[Much-Afraid asks if it is "indefinite postponement of the promise," and
Shepherd nods yes. Much-Afraid begins to despair because this is the completely
opposite direction of his promise and her heart's desire.]
Then he answered her very quietly, "Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to
accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and to go
down there with me into the desert?"

+++++
A friend of mine received some bad news yesterday that is breaking the hearts of his family, and of us who know this situation.

This is one of my favorite parts of the book, because (I think) I know what Much-Afraid is feeling - the wonderment and confusion of trying to walk forward with God but watching as you turn 180 degrees away from your dream.

After hearing the sad news of my friend and his family, I was struck by more than just the fact that we often have to go through the desert on our path toward the high places. Our companions, who are strong and surefooted and will indeed lead us through these desert places.... are Sorrow and Suffering. We (like Much-Afraid) would choose to have Joy and Peace lead us through these times, but I think sorrow and suffering serve a greater purpose. I know for me that to have experienced sorrow and suffering along the way through the desert makes the decision to continue on through the desert that much more sweet. If it were easy, if our companions were happiness and mirth, would the desert be as difficult as it is, and would I grow in the same way?

Even knowing all of this, I pray for my friends to avoid the desert. I know the desert is necessary, and I know Sorrow and Suffering are good companions in our lives.... but I don't want my friends to experience pain or loss or confusion or broken hearts. Nor do I really want those things for me, if I were honest.

But I do want to be closer to my Lord. I do want to grow in grace and godliness - and sometimes the desert is the only way.

Do YOU trust God to keep his promises to you, even though the way you are headed appears different or contradictory? Are the promises you think you are headed toward really promises of God's or are they hopes that you've pinned onto him (marraige, kids, a certain job)? Are you avoiding the desert right now, trying to climb sheer rock faces to get to your heart's desire?

To myself I say, "Dear heart, be of good courage and be not afraid. Believe in God and also in Jesus and trust Him to lead you down right paths." To my friends I say, "May God go with you in this time of suffering and may you see His Glory at the path's end and be able to say along with the psalmist - My God is in the heaven's and he may do as he chooses"

And to God I say, "Your ways are not my ways, Oh God, and my ways aren't yours. Your paths are beyond searching out and no one can truly understand what you are doing. Only help us to follow you more closely, Lord, to argue less when we see the desert path in front of us, and to allow sorrow and suffering to do their helping work in our hearts that we might eventually make it to the places you have set aside for us." Amen.