Leadership Journal Week III

Its Monday night, and I will confess that I'm later than normal in getting this journal written. I was out of town this weekend and though I took a few notes, I was not around earlier today to synthesize them. And then there was Hairspray. We saw it tonight and I can barely focus on leadership with the soundtrack running through my head (ok, and on my computer...).

Despite the toe-tapping, I do have a few things I'm thinking about this week:
* How much does a good leader communicate? Is there a point where there is too much? (I think we all agree there are plenty of leaders who don't communicate enough)
* When is it appropriate to step out of a situation, trust others to take care of it and leave, so that you can get rested up for the work you have the next day?
* How to "squash crickets gently"?
and maybe a few other things as they come to mind.

First - how much does a good leader communicate.
Last week I mentioned Scotty Kessler, one of the leaders I would (and did) move across the country to work with. He was an "over-communicator." Let's just call it like it was. He communicated everything, from his rationale for decisions to the concerns he had no his mind about a myriad of issues, to his thoughts or feelings about players and how to help them. The problem, I think, came when he overcommunicated his fears and worries to the staff. There are times when a leader needs to be confident toward his or her staff, even when he or she doesn't feel so sure about the future. Scotty would occaisionally reconsider his decision to stay on staff - and he would verbalize this to the group. My impression of this was a dad on a camping trip, who was lost, and then told his boy scout troop that he was lost - instead of just confidently walking to the left for a while until he figured out his plan, or even just making a camp out where they were until he came up with a plan.
This is a classic leadership mistake, I think. I think that once we get liberated into communication (and we do need this liberation, because mostly in America we undercommunicate, and the leaders of the world seem to be the best at keeping things close to the vest) we often hang our banner on communicating everything, so that we don't fall back into under communication. However... I think that most people want to know about the here and now, and they want to know the vision and values of an organization, but they don't want to know that someone doesn't believe in the vision, the values, in them; they don't want to know if their supervisor is afraid. As leaders, somehow we need to learn to be honest and still positive in situations that cause us anxiety or worry. At least, until the inevitable comes and then we need to communicate that information as positively as possible.
Here's my real life example before I move on: When I was at Eddie Bauer, we went into Chapter 11 bankruptcy (or Ch.7 - OK, I'm not sure...). We knew there was going to be lay offs, and then one day there was a big meeting and they announced that they were going to be laying off people that day. Yuk. I was middle management, with two direct reports. I was pretty confident that they were not going to lay off anyone working for me, though I thought my job was in jeopardy (in the Lord's goodness, however, I already had a job waiting for me and was one week from giving my two week's notice!). One of my analysts, Matt, was very concerned about his job. He had just gotten married and was one of the newest analysts on the team. I assured him that it was going to be OK, and his job was safe. Later that morning, I was laid off, along with all the other store planners. It was sad and hard for all of us, but it was OK. Until I realized that they were laying off the most recently hired analysts (they hadn't told us if any of our staff would be laid off) - including my Matt. At that point, I immediately went to him and told him that I was concerned about his job. I don't know it I did it exactly right - I don't know if I should not have assured him at the beginning or told him before the end. But I think that had I told him I was worried about his job earlier (if I had been), he would have been very concerned, unproductive and unconsolable. Instead, he was OK until our conversation and then prepared when they called him into the office to speak with him. (epilogue: he was immediately rehired by EB, after going through an interview process, and though I have lost touch with him, I know he has a big future ahead of him)

Second: delegation.
I think knowing when to delegate is difficult. I think also that when you like to be in the middle of the fun (this is one of my burdens), its doubly difficult to leave before everyone else has left - at least when you are one of the responsible people. I've been proud of Matt and Keane that there have been a few late night events where they are not present (i.e. the coffee house) until midnight. However, I wonder if they are at home sleeping or just in the office working on preparation for the next day. And I wonder how much work could be differently distributed to allow them, and Candice, and Carrie, etc to sleep.
I know that I have a threshold for tiredness, when I just want to go home and go to bed, and where I need to. But I think back to football camp and in-season and I remember the nights when I felt like I needed to be there until the bitter end. I am really grateful in hindsight that I was part of a staff of servant hearts, who were all willing to do the work together so that we could all go home a bit earlier rather than later. I'm also grateful that the Lord gave Scotty a heart of trust in me (and thus let me do things while he slept so he could be the face of our team), and that I had a heart of trust for Dave and Jared and some of the others - without whom I would have been miserable and trying to take care of little details all the time. And not getting any sleep. I need to remember to look for opportunities to delegate tasks, and to let others run the show, so that I can help them develop their skills, feel trusted, and rest up in order to lead. I also need to remember to look for opportunities to let others rest and work late or early so someone else can be in the spotlight!

Third: gentleness
The bible says we should be gentle. Paul talks about it constantly - its a fruit of the spirit (Ephesians 5), we should be clothed in it (Colossians 3) and our "gentleness should be evident to all" (Philippians 4:5). And at the same time, John says that both Grace and Truth came through Jesus Christ - so I know that we are supposed to speak truth - but gently.
This week we talked a lot about how to speak truth without crushing people's spirits, how to get them to agree to actions which they may not like without coercing them. On Friday night - about 12 hours before the students would leave - we found another student with a cell phone. I thought Matt did a great job of being firm but gentle when we spoke to the student outside. The discussion centered on not being an exception to the rule, on the idea that breaking rules now (even ones as small as a cell phone) leads to breaking rules when you are at Baylor, and how this is an opportunity to define who you are going to be. It was a dicey situation, to be sure. Our ideal was that he would turn over his phone voluntarily, and enjoy the rest of his stay. The worst case.. he keep it and leave camp. yuk.
But, I was blessed by Matt, who really consciously thought about how to gently talk with the student, who asked me and a baylor bound leader to accompany him to help fill in gentleness and truth gaps as needed (I think), and who listened well to the explanation the student had, but didn't give in to the reasons of the student. He listened, and demonstrated his caring, but then told the student how he could handle that situation in the future. The result was the student voluntarily gave up his phone and the next morning was still at camp and had navigated the 12 hours successfully.
I want to be grace to people all the time - its easier, mostly, and its happier, and it involves less confrontation. But there are times when I know I need to be truth and its OK. Jesus brought both grace and truth, and as an effective leader, I need to find a way to do the same.

That is probably all my thoughts on singleness for now. For you regular readers, I will try to post more on my life soon, in the meantime. Lead well and love well, too. Blessings.