contemplations

Well, its 9:30 on Monday night. I have not finished my law reading for class tomorrow at 1pm and have barely started my reading for capstone class on Wed. We have about 100 pages to read for that class and a quiz. yuk.

So it probably doesn't make much sense that I'm writing on the blog instead of reading, but two things:
1) I'm trying to be more "in the moment" about my decisions.
2) I want to keep those of you who were faithful readers-when-I-updated-frequently-but-may have-stopped-even-looking-to-see-if-I-have-updated friends guessing and interested. :) More than that, I want to really keep you up to date on my life.

I have created an outline of things I want to talk about tonight. I know I won't get to all of them by my self-imposed deadline, but perhaps they will come up again in future posts:
1) PhD stuff
2) Job stuff
3) School stuff
4) TV, and other technology

First things first.... I have been admitted to UCLA - to the Higher Education and Organizational Change PhD program in the School of Education (http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/oss/programs.html, http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/oss/heoc.html). WOW. It is a pretty compelling offer. The professor that would be my advisor, Dr. Linda Sax, called me to tell me just over a week ago. I was in shock and thus unable to post about it for you. I am waiting to make my decision until I can go out to LA and visit the school and the professors there. The paperwork has not arrived yet in the mail and so I feel like I am in a holding pattern - people here want to know what I'm going to do... and so do I.... others feel like the decision is already made - why WOULDN'T I want to go to UCLA and do this? it would be crazy not to - but I'm trying this new thing where I follow my heart (I used to do this much better than I do now).

So... stay tuned for updates on this process. You will know when I do.

In the meantime, I have been job searching. I have applied for about 5 jobs. There are a couple that I would really like to do, but haven't heard back yet regarding even phone interviews.... bummer. I know that it is sort of hit and miss, but because there is one job in particular that I have wanted since Christmas and I applied a couple weeks ago (right before I found out about UCLA, actually) and haven't heard it makes me nervous!

I'm also trying a new thing where I trust God better, so I'm being patient and believing in God's faithfulness.

School stuff has been crazy lately. So much work - way more than we've had before it seems like. I think that I often feel that way near the beginning of the semester, but this semester it is like we are on a roller coaster toward graduation and the brakes are broken... it is a fast moving train toward May 16th and its crazy! Less than 90 days until graduation. And only two weeks until we all get our best clothes packed up and head to Boston for NASPA. I'm excited that I may not have many interviews for that conference (I am officially only applying to jobs I really really want, because of the great UCLA offer) and I'm looking forward to seeing some old friends, learning a bit, and touring the historic city of Boston. Today we got a note saying we could tour Fenway park for $12 - awesome!!

Last thing for tonight (I have 6 minutes). I've been contemplating giving up recreational TV for Lent. I don't give up something for Lent every year. Its not a part of my background and so sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't, and I feel OK about it. Well, this year Ash Wednesday came around and it was busy and roller coaster-y and my ability to contemplate life was at a minimum, so I did not give anything up. I'd rather not give something up than commit to something without thinking and not be really committed to it.

So my friend, Karin, was talking to me about how she gave up recreational TV for lent - you know what I'm talking about - the "keep the TV on to be in the background" kind of TV - or worse (and more applicable for me) the "keep the TV on while I do homework" kind of TV. See, technology has seemingly invaded my life. I now own two computers and there are two TVs in our house. My roommate has her own computer and a laptop she uses from her work - that means that at any one moment in our home, we might have four computers running and two TV's on. Or one TV and a CD player. Yikes. What has happened? And I think part of my problem in getting things done for school is that I'm watching TV in the AM while I make breakfast, which turns into while I get ready, which delays getting ready, which delays homework, etc.

Here's the issue: I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can handle the quiet or the slowness of not having technology on.

So pray for me as I contemplate. Pray for me as I think of my future and what it looks like. And pray for me as I consider breaking my addiction to television, noise and technology.

And I'll be back soon with more updates. :)