Who I am

This morning I was praying about my lack of zeal. Seeing how much I want (in my head and heart) to be a woman that calls upon the Lord with great passion, but how much I really am lukewarm.

It was a good time. I confessed my heart and asked for the Lord's help. I also confessed the fears I have that I'm not "enough" to minister to the students on this campus, the intimidation I feel if I let myself. The Lord reminded me of who I am, how I was created. And that its not me so much as the Holy Spirit.

I was moved to get out the "original design" sheet that I got last year at the Jesus Ministry conference in Tacoma (see link). I looked at it and was encouraged. It reminded me of how the Lord created me and I could begin to see why those characteristics will be good here. And then I was reminded of a passage in Isaiah as I was praying. "I have been appointed ..." is what I heard, but it reminded me of Isaiah and I remembered just after that that at that same conference someone had prayed for me and that the scripture they recieved was from Isaiah 61.
here it is:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on
them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of
righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Now I'm not saying that those words are 100% who I am, or that they were written for me. Obviously they were written for Isaiah, and most people see them as being for Jesus in the New Covenant. But Jesus lives in me and the bible says that now HIS purposes are MY purposes. And this passage above is my heart's cry. I long to help the men and women here experience freedom from bondage, to preach good news, to show them their crown of beauty and introduce them to a Savior whose love is infinite and boundless. And so I was reminded by the Lord today that I have been anointed, too. And that I have been called here for such a time as this. And I need not fear.

Amen.